Spotlite on...Chris

This month marks the fourth anniversary of talking to Chris. In January 2006, I began chatting with a guy on Yahoo. I had been clean for around a month, when a box popped up on my screen and we began chatting. I admitted to him that his screen name sounded familiar but that I had no idea what we may have talked about previously, as I was high when we talked before. All I knew at that point, was that he was a cutie...and he was initiating the conversation with me. I could only imagine the possibilities as to where this might go.

Chris told me that we had talked before, but to this day, I have no idea what the original conversation was. In January 2006, the conversation went something like this:

"Hey, how are you?" "Wow, this guy is cute!"

"Where are you from?" "Illinois isn't THAT far away, I could meet him."

"What are you up to?" "What do I have to do to get into his pants?"

Yep, and that was after I was sober. I can only imagine what I said when I was smoking. Chris has since told me that one of the things that endeared me to him from the beginning was that I honestly told him I had no recollection of any conversations before January. Apparently, all I had to do was be honest to get into his pants. That, and meet him in person.

When we started talking, Chris was a 19 year-old student at a tiny college in a tiny town in Illinois. We have talked about meeting, both in Illinois and in Columbus. Neither ever actually happened. The closest we have ever been geographically, was just over a year ago when he was in New Jersey for work, and took the ferry into New York City for the Rockefeller Tree lighting. We were less than five miles away from each other, and I never knew it until he had gone back to Illinois.

We have spoken for hours on the phone over the last four years. We talked one night for an hour or two while he was shopping for baking supplies at Walmart. There have been a couple times when it seems his life was falling apart. Nothing bothers me more than not being able to help someone I have come to love. Even tho we have never met...even tho we were hundreds of miles away from each other.

Once again, we talked about meeting for Chris's birthday this year. Unfortunately, his birthday is four days from now, and I am sitting in New Jersey. Maybe next year? The question remains: Where could this internet friendship go? I know that it has been a friendship that has been much more than I would have imagined four years ago.