Smart People Do Stupid Things

Who among us hasn't done something stupid? I daresay no one. Based on my title, one could easily jump to the conclusion that we are all smart then, right? So, last night Jason (yes, the guy I went to Cedar Point with last summer) and I went out. To back up a couple of weeks, he sent me an email and and basically verbally prostrated himself. I was not mad about the whole situation from last December and I told him so. We picked up pretty much where we left off. We've been hanging out extensively since then.

Last night, though, we went out and I saw another old friend. Beau disappeared when I was doing crystal meth. He invited us back to his apartment, and Jason sat down on the loveseat and passed out. Beau and I went upstairs, and because this is a family show, I'll leave the rest to your imagination. At 8:15 this morning, I came down the steps to find Jason gone. At that moment, he walked in the front door. He had been outside smoking. I asked him if he was mad, and he said, "Does it matter?" I don't take hints well, but even I knew that was a yes.

I did apologize for leaving him stranded on the couch, but I felt like an ass the whole way home this morning. I knew that Jason had to work early today, but I forgot that he had to do his taxes. I'm sitting here right now waiting for this online filing software to complete his taxes. I figure that and a cup of coffee is the least I can do. There's probably more I could do, but I'm afraid to ask. Broken glass or hot coals and I just don't seem to get along.

Despite what some friends say, I try to be sensitive to other people's needs. Sometimes, though, I do fail. I'm human, what can I say? I can only pick myself up, apologize, keep going, and thank the good Lord that it's raining outside and not snowing. In this case, I think the opposite of failure is forgiveness. I'm glad there are humans out there who can do that!

A Weekend of Reconnection?

Have I mentioned how much fun I'm having being sober? Well, I am. Right now, I'm sitting in my parents' basement. They are at church and I probably should be too, but I didn't go with them this time. I came up to spend the weekend with my family because my youngest brother is leaving in 17 days for Tanzania. He and his wife will be there for two years working as missionaries. This was the last big hurrah before they left.

Yesterday we had a get-together to send them off. I thought it would be mostly family, and it was, but if I had to guess right now, I would say there were close to 40 people here. You have to understand where my parents live. My dad's parents were farmers for 40 years. They retired a few years ago and gave small parcels of land to each of their seven children. Of the seven, five live within sight of the original house. So when there's a family get-together it's some serious business. The joke around here is that they are a chapel and a fence short of a compound.

The family scandal a few years back was that my aunt and uncle were divorcing. I trumped that by coming out, but that's another day's topic. I haven't seen my aunt in years. Liesa came by yesterday to wish my brother and his wife well. I left with her to hang out a little and catch up. One thing led to another and let's just say I went to bed the latest last night since I moved out of my parents' house. We went to BW3 with some of my sister's friends and had a blast! These guys, these dudes, these college jocks were trying to pick Liesa up. I stepped in and said she was with me. I often miss opportunities to help someone out of a situation, but this time I don't think she needed my help.

All I know is that by the end of the night, Liesa had given someone her phone number (She's a dental assistant. She was drumming up business.) and had gotten someone's phone number (She just happened to be looking for a plumber).

Last but not least, my homophobic uncle, (not her ex-husband) shook my hand before the night was over. Um, were the planets in some strange alignment? I'm not looking for a fishing trip or anything, but I have always thought that despite your beliefs or prejudices, civility is necessary. My uncle hasn't spoken to me since I came out. It has been very quiet from that corner of the compound for almost 9 years. Last night he actually offered his hand before I left.

Sometimes, people think that family has to love you because they are family. Let me tell you, they don't. I have to say though, that I am proud of my family because even the bigots will eventually shake your hand. Reconnecting and seeing people you haven't in years is always fun for me. Breaking through, no matter how small, is better.

It's time to put the ham in the oven, so I am gonna sign off for now. Have fun and be good.

Spotlite on...Dana

Well, here we are with the spotlite on Dana. Where to begin? We met almost two years ago at work. I can never remember the date, so we arbitrarily picked an anniversary date, but alas, I don't remember that either. I think it's May 1, but we will all find out in just a little while. Look for a comment with confirmation.

We both worked for Bank One and met outside on a break. One of the very first things we ever did outside of work was to see Shrek 2 in the theater. I think the first time I really heard her laugh and I mean really laugh was when Donkey walked in the bar (as a Steed) and the Ugly Stepsister asked, "Why the long face?" She had to explain it to me.

It's funny when you look back a friendship like ours at how you begin to hang out with someone, what attracts you to them, the ups and downs, and WAY ups and WAY downs. Were I to write a book, a great deal of it could easily be about Dana. Some of our relationship can be read in this very journal. A little less than a year ago, I was shredded for the world to see. Don't tell anyone, but she was right. As usual.

One of my earliest memories of her was her "Soapbox Speeches." They weren't given on a soapbox and they weren't really speeches, but two of my favorites are what I titled "This Is Why We Live Paycheck to Paycheck" and "If I Were President, I Would..." Maybe someday I will transcribe those speeches.

Dana and I have gone through what I call "the dark period." From Easter last year until late June we didn't speak. I was OK with that until I saw her at work one day. I realized how much I missed her and apologized for my part in our falling out. There was a second smaller episode just before Christmas last year, but I was not going to let our friendship languish for another three months. It took much less time to get that back on track. I have the distinct honor of being in a very small group of people who have fallen out with Dana and been able to claw my way back up. Twice.

Dana got married last weekend. Let's talk for a minute about mixed emotions. I'm gay. I like the mens's. But I can tell you, if I weren't, I would have married her myself. As it is, I get to be great friends with a wonderful woman and get none of the sex. Yay me!

The wedding was beautiful. One of our mutual friends told me that Dana glowed in the dark. She did, too. The reception was in a dimly lit theater. Not when they introduced Jon and Dana. She absolutely glowed. If there was any doubt in anyone's mind before the wedding, all doubts were put aside when she stood in the back of the church.

Jon is a great guy who quite frankly, gets overlooked in Dana's corona sometimes. He's a police officer for a local hamlet who reminds us why policemen are our friends. If he wasn't he could break you right in half. He seems like an angry man a lot, but that's because Dana hangs out with a lot of us gay boys and he's not quite sure what to do with a guy who touches his wife, but doesn't want to go home with her. He really has turned out to be a great guy who I have come to admire.

Both Dana and Jon have had their respective issues in the past, but here's to a long and happy future together. With lots of kids so I can be an uncle. :)

(A picture will be posted when one is approved)