An Afternoon in the Square

On Monday this week, I was at work, minding my business and selling cards. A guy came up to the register and bought two cards. As I was ringing him up, he looked at me, and I looked back. He smiled as we exchanged the normal conversation, and I remember thinking, "Wow, he's got a really nice smile. And he's cute, too." He walked out of the store, but kept glancing toward me to see if I was looking at him. I was. He went to the other side of a kiosk in the mall and stopped, looking at me and moving just out of sight. Looking and ducking.

I wrote down my phone number and motioned him over to get it, and he came back! I told him to come back at 10:00 and he said he would see what he could do. Around 9, he called me and we talked for a couple minutes. I told him I had two questions. 1. Are you single? He hemmed and hawed a second before explaining that he was sort of seeing someone back home in Canada, but that he hadn't been there in a while, so technically no, but basically, yes. And 2. How old are you? He's 19. He also had two questions. 1. Was I single? Yes. And 2. Am I HIV negative? Yes. I thought later about that and found that if those two questions were any indication of each of our priorities, it makes for an interesting discussion.

He came back at 10 that night and said that he had about an hour before he had to be home. We walked along the river front and talked until it was time for him to go upstairs to his 34th floor Penthouse. The next day, we met again for just another hour. He talked about what he is trying to do, and all I can say right now, is that very possibly soon his name will be widely recognized. Because of his work right now, his manager has advised him not to get involved with anyone, because tours can be rough on a relationship. He apologized again for not having much time to spend with me, and said that Thursday, when I had the day off work, he should be free to hang out longer.

Thursday came, and I went in to work to do some things I hadn't been able to finish on Wednesday. I also figured it would be easier to meet up with him if I was at the mall, only a couple blocks from his building. He called me and said he had two things to do, but that he would be ready in about an hour. I was able to go home and change my clothes and get cleaned up a little bit. I wanted to prove that I do have clothes other than a white polo and black pair of pants. I walked back over to his area and waited for the phone call. I sat on a bench overlooking the Hudson, and realized that I don't get to do this very often. Just sit and watch people. It's a lot of fun to sit and see who passes by, but who has time for that any more?

The phone rang and he said he had to do a couple of errands for his roommate, but that he should be ready in about a half hour. I told him to take his time and began to explore the "Square." It's not really a square shape, and it is about half the size of a football field, but there were some things I hadn't seen before. A competition winning design for a path. I stood at one end of the path and looked to the other end. On each side were four granite pillars and when I stood at the right spot, each pillar was closer together and taller than the one before. It almost appeared to be a wall on either side of the path. The path ended with a straight shot of where the World Trade Center towers used to be. I imagine eventually the Freedom Tower will rise in the middle of this view.

I sent him a text message and said that the call had been dropped, but that if, in his errands, he passed thru the square, that would not be a bad thing. Shortly after that, he did. He was carrying dry cleaning, and we walked back toward his building. He told me he had to upload some pictures, and get them printed at the pharmacy, and then take have them shipped. He said it should be about 20 minutes. I told him to take his time, and that I would go back to the square and wait.

I've never had bubble tea. It's not bad, but I'm not a huge fan. The tea with pineapple flavor was good, and I love tapioca, but it was a little strange to have huge tapioca in a drink. And big black ones at that. I went over and sat down and watched a mother feeding her baby some kind of cookies. Every time he would drop some, a pigeon came over and ate it off the ground. Right at his feet. He looked at the pigeon, dropped some crumbs, and babbled when the pigeon came over. The pigeon pecked at the crumbs and cooed back at him. You figure out what they were saying to each other. It was sort of a "Look Who's Talking" meets "Enchanted" scene. Meanwhile, I noticed a lady taking pictures as if she were trying to remember this day for a long time to come. Hundreds of pictures must have been taken. It was a group of at least twelve Indian women and three or four kids. The photographer stood right in front of me at one point, so I asked if this was a baby shower. She said no, that she lives here, and all the other women were here on vacation from India. They were just lunching in the square and capturing memories.

I looked up and my new friend was coming across the square. He came over and apologized for taking so long, and said we could go. The only problem was that instead of the original "all day" we now only had about an hour to hang out. We sat down in the grass and talked some more. It wasnt the time I was hoping for, but any time is better than none. And with his hectic schedule, I am grateful to spend part of an hour with him.

Maybe my lesson this week is this: Be happy for the things you do have. Sure, I'd love to be able to spend more time with him. Get to know him "faster" you might say. In the past, I have met people and spent time getting to know them. Sometimes, when I want to take it to the next level in some kind of committed relationship, they say that's not what they are looking for. Of course, its difficult to "dial it back a bit," and the strange thing is, I find myself getting upset because all I end up with is a great friendship. This time I'm taking it as it comes and if all I get out of it is a new and wonderful friend, then I guess I'm just going to have to live with that. Could be worse. Could be rainin'.

Good Morning!

Sometimes you can't sleep because you've done something wrong. Sometimes you can't sleep because you've done somethinng right, and you're so excited about the next day, that it just can't come fast enough. Sometimes you can't sleep because you get involved in something and just don't realize what time it is.

I don't have a television in my room. I'm finding that I don't need a television in my room. Fancast.com has free movies and TV shows. Granted, there is no Law and Order, but there is Hawaii Five-O. Who wouldn't get hooked on a 60's show where they don't even Mirandize the perp? (As a side note, they didn't Mirandize them because there was no such thing as Miranda Rights until 1966.) I've watched an episode or two of Hawaii Five-O. I've also seen Bones, Numb3rs, and CSI. Great shows, all but tonight I started watching Harper's Island. In the five episodes I've watched, the best comparison I can make is "Final Destination." All three of them rolled into one TV show. Week after week people get killed. And no two are the same.

I started the first episode around 12:30 and finished it about 40 minutes later. The sky was black (or as black as it can be in Jersey City.) Second episode finished, still black. Plenty of time to get some sleep before work. Third, now I'm beginning to see the outline of the building across the street in the dark gray sky. Fourth, a lighter shade of pale. I just finished the fifth episode and the sky is light. The only thing keeping me from calling this daylight, is the time. I don't care how bright it is outside, it can never be daylight at 5:30 in the morning. Dawn, maybe-daylight, never.

I think I'm going to watch one more episode of this wretched, wreteched show, and then go get some breakfast. Just what I need after seeing people die in every possible way all night long. A nice stack of pancakes!

Carry on, then!

I Stumbled...

But I did not fall. Let me tell you story that may disappoint you. I find the story itself fun to write, and the lesson an important one.

As everyone knows, I spent 2005 high on meth. It's been a long time since I've partaken, but I have never denied that if someone would offer, I probably would. I wouldn't say that I get up every day and think about finding it, but it does cross my mind from time to time. One of the myriad of benefits in moving to New Jersey was not knowing where to get it. Sure, you can find ads online, or talk to people who "party," but it's tough to start that conversation, believe me.

Yesterday, I had that conversation. A guy said he had some, and he would sell it to me. I hit paydirt, if you will. He told me to meet him at 3rd Ave and 55th St in Manhattan at 1:45. I got on the train, and went into Manhattan, arriving about 30 minutes early. There was a Barnes and Noble on the corner, so I went in. I had to buy "The Purpose Driven Life" for my growth group at church, so I did. You can debate the irony of that later.

I went back out into the pouring rain and down the street to the appointed meeting place and waited for this guy to show up. About five minutes after we were supposed to meet, he called me and said he was approaching and that he was wearing a green and grey jacket. I waited another five minutes before I saw him walk past me, catching my eye. I began to follow him, not quite sure what I should be doing. He crossed the street, walked up the block, back across the street, down another block and vanished. I stood and waited for him to come back or call me and he finally did.

*Ring* "Dude, you look like a cop. I walked past you three times and I think you're a cop."

I wasn't sure whether to be offended or honored. I told him I wasn't a cop, and he said, "OK, walk over to 2nd Ave and 53rd St. Wait for me at the pay phone" As I walked to that corner, flip flops soaked with rain, squeaking the whole way, I thought this sure seeems a lot like Spy Vs. Spy or Mission Impossible. He came up to me and motioned for me to follow him. As we started walking he said, "I just wanted to make sure you weren't a cop. The stuff is on top of the pay phone over here." We walked past another pay phone, and he asked if I saw it. It wasn't until then that I realized what he was talking about, so I told him I had missed it. He said, "No one is using that phone, so just slip me the money and go back and get it."

I relized that I hadn't put enough money in my pocket and it might look weird if I pulled out my wallet, so I told him said I would duck into Walgreens and put the money in my front pocket. He said he would wait outside. When I walked back outside, not three minutes later, he was gone. I walked back up to the pay phone, and sure enough, there was a bag on top of the phone. I slipped it into my pocket and my phone rang.

*Ring* "Dude, what's going on? I think you're a cop. You don't have your sh*t together. You didn't have the money ready. You wanted to go to Walgreens."

Once again, I explained that I wasn't a cop, and he told me to go back to the phone at 2nd and 53rd. I went. And waited.

*Ring* "Dude, where are you now? I'm not going around again with you on this. I see under cover cops everywhere."

I told him I was waiting where he told me to, and that if there were undercover cops, I didn't know about it. (Apparently, they were doing well not blowing their cover to me.) He told me we would try this one more time. Go to Madison Ave and 55th. Wait there. I sloshed another 2 blocks over and 2 blocks up to wait. And wait. And wait. I only thought that I didn't want to get shot because I got the stuff, but hadn't paid, so I waited some more. Finally, I had enough. I went home. All the way back to Jersey City.

When I got home, I dug in my pocket and pulled out a bag of...little plastic beads! I breathed a sigh and thought, "Well, I didn't get any Tina, but I also didn't lose any money. Whew!" I sent him an email, just saying that I didn't mean to make him nervous, but I guess it just didn't work out. My phone rang.

*Ring* "Dude, I was nervous. I thought you were a cop, but now I think you're cool. Do you want to come back? I have the product."

I told him that I did want some, but if it was too much of a hassle for him, I would let it go. He said to meet him at Madison Ave and 34th St. in 45 minutes. I wasn't sure I could make it in that time, but I sure gave it everything I had. I beat the clock and he was standing across the street. I crossed to him and we started walking. I slipped him the money and he slipped me a baggie. We parted ways and I ducked into a Chinese restaurant and asked to use the restroom. When I went in, I dug into my pocket again and pulled out a bag of the most beautiful and pure....little plastic beads! I threw them into the trash can and headed back to the train.

Just before I got to the station, my phone rang.

*Ring* "Dude, we're good, right?"
"No, we aren't good, but I guess I got taken."
"What did you say?"
"I said, you gave me nothing. Sh*t. Plastic."
"Excuse me? What?"
"You gave me crap. It's worthless."
"Where are you? I'll come back and return your money."
"No, it's good. We're good."
"Where are you? I'll return your money. I don't work that way."
"No thanks, I'm going back to New Jersey. You do work that way. Have a nice day."
Click. He hung up on me.

Of course, my first reaction was irritation at being strung along for two or three hours only to be taken. This morning when I got up, I realized that there is clearly something bigger than me at work here. Since I've been in New Jersey and attending the Journey Church, one of the most frequent messages I've heard is that of financial responsibility and by extension-success. God and everybody knows that money has never been a strong point with me. I think that God gave me several opportunities to turn around-do what I know is right. I chose not to. Finally, He said, "You want to give your money away, go ahead, but I'm not gonna let you screw up. I've brought you this far, and I'm not letting you fall backward." I heard. I'm listening.

In the words of a friend's wise sister, I'm gonna read books and stay away from boys. (That was slightly paraphrased.)

I'm not really sure how to end this story, except to wait and see. See the comments, see the questions, see the response.